I have a delivery coming that I where I am being forced into using a white glove install. Despite that I have been very excited and anxious for the arrival. Today they sent me:

– an email
– a text
– a robo call

These all came in during the same 60 seconds window and they all tell me the same thing: “IT’S TIME TO SCHEDULE YOUR DELIVERY!” Hell yeah!

It specifically says I can schedule this online so I click on the custom link in the email and it takes me to a page with all my order details. It then asks me to click a button to send me a super secret code to my email so they know it is really me. I am ok with MFA, but you just made me send a super secret code to the same email address that had the custom link you sent me. (Seriously, WTF?)

So I do it. It takes me to the Schedule Your Delivery page. I click on the button to schedule my delivery where it tells me I have to call their customer care delivery people.

I blinked my eyes a few times but it still says to call their customer care delivery people. Goddammit.

I called in and I spoke to a woman who took my order number and started calling me Mr. James, which annoys me as it makes me feel like a plantation owner, but I don’t say anything because I just want to get this scheduled and go on with my day.

The lady tells me “the Manager is still doing the schedule, but I should be able to call you back in about an hour with the date and time.” Great. I thank her for her time and hang up.

She does not call me back after 1 hour.

She does not call me back after hours 2-5 either. Mr. James is getting annoyed.

I call back and get the exact same lady. “Oh Mr. James, the manager is still working on the schedule, but it should be done soon and you’ll get an email confirmation when it’s done. It shouldn’t be long now.” Not awesome, but I again thank her for her time and hang up.

About 30 minutes later, and all in the same 60 second window I get:

– an email
– a text
– a robo call

I can see from the text notification it’s from this company, but I am in a meeting so I have to wait until it is over. But I will admit to smiling because finally I’ll know when it will be here. Eventually the meeting ends and I go check all these communications I have received. They all say the same thing:

“IT’S TIME TO SCHEDULE YOUR DELIVERY!”

And… that’s it. This is not a confirmation of it being scheduled. It’s the same fucking email from this morning. They’re hassling me to get off my ass and get this thing scheduled like it’s my goddamned fault “the Manager” can’t get their work done in a timely manner.

Please, next Tuesday at 9 AM, please schedule a meeting for “Stick Your White Glove Delivery Up Your Ass.” Send me a Teams invite.