They don’t sell bags of just Yellow Starburst, which is obviously the biggest business mistake since HP told Steve Wozniak no one would ever buy a personal computer.

The other problem is they sell a bulk Starburst product called “All Reds.” You may think this means you only get red ones, but you would be wrong. It’s 50% red and 50% pink, which is like a candy-flavored war-crime.

So now I ask you Mars, Incorporated: Have you no sense of decency, at long last? Must you keep infecting this world of ours with this drizzling, strawberry-flavored shit?