So that newborn “It’s a Boy” cigar thing. I won’t be doing that.

Smoking is a vile, disgusting habit and I’d rather not encourage it. I want to be clear: for the most part, I don’t usually mind the the smokers themselves. And to be fair, some cigars actually have a pleasant aroma.

Side rant:

And all you folks doing the vape thing, sucking on your robot dicks, vaping brings with it the added factor of doucheyness. You actually get at least 5 ranks in douchyness just by owning vape materials. That robot dick cloud is heavy, obnoxious, smells awful, and takes forever to go away. And while I don’t necessarily dislike the vapers (ye gods, is that a word now?) that I know, you can be assured at some point I’ve been annoyed by your inability to stop sticking that smoking steel dildo in your mouth like it’s a normal thing.

And at concerts or other indoor events, you do it places where smoking is not allowed like your not doing anything wrong. You are doing shit wrong, you are being an asshole, and you know your reasoning of “the signs says ‘no smoking, not no vaping'” is total bullshit. I have been known to voice my opinions on these people, rather loudly. You are not fucking special and you will be called on your fuckery.

Back to the point:

So I won’t be doing the cigar thing. But if you want to, great. I’ll even go outside with you, but I’ll stay upwind.