No, we’re not having twins. The Terror Twins are what I call our 2 cats. Normally they go by the names Pumpkin and Squiggles.

Last night my wife informed me that the central air had stopped working. It was about 8PM when she told me. I was tired after having only slept 4 hours the night before, a trip to IKEA, and putting together a futon, but I decided I was gonna try to fix it. It was gonna be 92 degrees the next day and I figured my pregnant wife would just as soon not be without central air as much as I would.

The thermostat had a blinking snowflake on it. The first 3 or 4 Google results all tell me the delay timer is busted in my thermostat. They also say to make sure it’s not a glitch, just shut the thermostat off, flip the furnace breaker off/on, then turn the thermostat on, and see if the air kicks on within 5 minutes. I do all that, no joy.

I’ve never replaced a thermostat, but I go to Walmart (shudder) and buy a new one. I come home and get it swapped out. It still doesn’t work. I go through the process again: turn off the thermostat, flip the breakers, turn the thermostat back on, wait 5 minutes. Nothing. It occurs to me I can’t even get the fan to run.

Damn. It sounds like an expensive fix when multiple things aren’t working, doesn’t it?

In desperation I wander downstairs, thinking of the huge repair bill we don’t need as we prepare for the baby. I’m looking for something, anything, that looks out of place. My furnace is kinda crammed in by 2 walls and some studs. I move Pumpkin out of the way and I look and strain and squeeze my way back there, look around and then I squeeze back out. It’s been 2 hours since I started messing with this and I’m ready to give up, ready to pay whatever it takes to get this working. Resigned to the expenditure, I now know the biggest hurdle will be to find someone to get here tomorrow and fix this before the wife gets off of work.

As I’m walking out of the utility room where the furnace is, I look down and see the profile of a square box. It’s a switch box attached to the furnace. I saw it when I was squeezed into the back. It looks just like a light switch.

Wait a minute…was that switch turned off?

I look. It is.

Is it supposed to be off? I have no idea. I haven’t paid any attention to it in the 8 years I’ve lived here.

I switch it on. The fan starts up. By the time I reach upstairs the central air is running. I am thrilled. I don’t have a repair bill, but I did get a programmable thermostat out of the deal. I just have to mount it to the wall this evening.

One of the Terror Twins must have shut the switch off for a laugh. And man, was it funny. Almost as funny as the time they unplugged my sump pump. (Admittedly, there was more to clean up that time.) I love those little asshole cats of ours, but sometimes those assholes are kinda dicks.